Marriage, Marriage, Marriage

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Marriage, Marriage, Marriage

by Kirk Wentzel

All I ever hear about today is gay marriage. You would think the Republicans are trying to make this the central issue of the mid-term elections. Oh wait….they are….AGAIN! What IS the big deal about this whole marriage thing? Is it really a core issue or is it just pandering to the religious ultra-conservative side of the party?

Well lets examine some of the religious arguments we've heard.

First, not everybody in this country is Christian or Republican and not all Christians are Republicans and not all Christians nor all Republicans believe gay marriage is wrong. So who is the minority with the large voice? Well they are just that, a minority with big mouths. They seem to have forgotten that there are Muslims and Jewish and Buddhists and Sikhs and any number of other recognized religions of long-standing that are all celebrated side-by-side in this country. So where is it written that the beliefs of this small group take precedence over all other belief systems? It isn't written anywhere.

Second, we've heard about "the Sanctity of Marriage" argument. Oh please….divorce is a defilement to the sanctity of marriage. Men beating their wives is a defilement to the sanctity marriage. Infidelity is a defilement to the sanctity marriage. Gay folks have been allowed to get married in Massachusetts for over a year now…I can't help noticing that the sky is still above us, Massachusetts has not been swallowed whole by the Earth or consumed in a raging firestorm or flood and, civilization has not imploded. And, just for the record, I have not been able to find one single case anywhere in the world where a heterosexual couple's marriage was destroyed or, in any way, manner, shape or form, damaged simply because gay folks got married in Massachusetts or Canada or Spain or the Netherlands. Frankly, this entire argument is pure sophistry. Love gives marriage it's sanctity.

Third, "Marriage and sex are only to procreate and only a couple of opposite sex can do that." I am forced to admit that biologically speaking two men or two women alone cannot conceive a child…..yet. Give modern medicine time. But to be fair, not every heterosexual couple can produce a child without outside help either. Let's examine this argument for a moment since it has so many aspects. Does this argument mean to imply that people who are beyond child bearing years should not be allowed to get married? After all, we've all heard a news story about the 70 year old man who marries the 72 year old woman in the nursing home (we all go "awwww that's so sweet"). Well excuse me but I don't think they're likely to be having any children…but they are allowed to get married. Or what about the couple that gets married only to find out that one or the other has some physical problem that prevents them from being able to have child. I mean, I feel bad about that but we don't force them to dissolve their marriage do we? No, we don't. If fact, just the opposite occurs, an entire medical branch has been created to help these people conceive a child using such ARTIFICIAL means such as invitro-fertilization, artificial insemination, fertility enhancing drugs….not exactly "natural". And finally, what about people who get married but CHOOSE not to have children. Certainly these people must be forced apart since there appears to be no reason for their marriage, except that they might actually love and care for one another. Sometimes when I hear the religious right, you wouldn't think love had anything to do with marriage.

Fourth, we live in a civil society. This is not a Theocracy. No church or denomination or any religion has authority here. Marriage is overseen by the State NOT by the Church. People can get married in America without benefit of a church or religious institution of any type. Marriage licenses are issued by government offices and over 1,000 benefits are granted by government upon those who get married. The proof that marriage is not inherently religious in America is self evident…a man and a woman can meet one another at 8:00 a.m. on a Monday and get a marriage license and be married within 24 hours in most states. No religious institution on ANY type required. Strangely we don't deny people the right to get married if they are not religious. But we continue to deny gay and lesbians folks the right of marriage regardless of whether or not they are people of faith. I'm sorry but those two statements don't really fit well together do they?

So, on what basis are taxpaying gay and lesbian citizens denied the right to get married. Well, finally, it's because some people don't want us to have that right. I know that sounds like circular reasoning…guess what? It is. But it's also THAT simple. In many cases, we are still seen as abnormal, as faggots and dykes that ought to stay behind our closed doors and keep our mouths shut and our dirty little lifestyles to ourselves. Sorry but that's not the world we live in anymore and people who think that way should be called by their true names….Bigots.

Look, people of faith have every right to believe as they choose to believe and I support that freedom. But their right to swing their religion stops at the tip of my nose. When someone else's beliefs interfere with my rights as a citizen, then my rights should take precedence. I would never think of forcing a church to perform gay marriages, especially if gay marriage is viewed negatively within their belief structure, but, that doesn't mean gay marriage shouldn't exist.

Maybe, it's the word "MARRIAGE". Maybe people would be more comfortable if it were "domestic partnership" or "civil union". Personally I don't care what you call it, just grant me the same rights as my fellow taxpayers (I really thought the 14th amendment did that already…apparently I'm wrong). And for those gay rights groups and my fellow activists, that insist on the use of the word marriage (using the "all or nothing" argument)….get off your high horse. Stop worrying about the title and worry about the core rights. Your insistence on the word "marriage" may well lose us the battles and the war.

Times are changing and so are feelings here in the land of the free and the home of the brave. I don't know if we will ever have equal rights but I'm not about to stop fighting and I'm not going to stop calling things as I see them.

P.S. Completely off the subject but….Dear Mr. President…it's been nearly 5 years…where the hell is Osama? You remember him right? Tall guy….kidney issues….you know…the terrorist dude!