Immigration Issue Snags Santorum

In an extremely ironic slant, the Virginia state legislature recently passed a law outlawing illegal immigration to their Commonwealth. The statute prevents foreign Senators from residing in its towns unless they actually represent the lovers (straight ones only) Virginia is famous for fostering. Since the Junior Senator from Pennsylvania resides in Leesburg he is now being denied rights, benefits and responsibilities he used to take for granted.

For instance he now is required to use his own money to buy his morning coffee at Starbucks. Virginia will no longer allow him to use funds from his "charity" for this purpose. He also risks being deported back to Pennsylvania where it is evident he's no longer wanted or welcome. Should he try and campaign in Gettysburg the Virginia legislature insists he return only under cover of night, across the desert, and without water. They insist amnesty will never be granted because of old grievances with Pennsylvania over the slavery issue. It seems that one resulted in a very nasty little war back in 1860.

Now that Rick Santorum has been outed as an illegal immigrant by Virginia and he is no longer welcome in Pennsylvania he finds himself in a No Man's Land. Maryland appears to be his only option. Someone find him a turtle costume quickly.


How was that for a bit of satire first thing in the morning?